First order of business was to sleep in. Check.
The sun was shining - yes, sometimes that happens in February in Pittsburgh - so I felt compelled to get up and enjoy it even though the outside temp was 30 degrees (-1 Celsius for my metric friends). Gorgeous walking weather.
No newsletter went out on the 12th of this month. That’s because I was focusing on completing and submitting my 210-page final project for my doctorate. Hitting “submit” yesterday was surprising, even to me. As you may recall, last month I was unsure whether it was even possible to finish this project on time as planned. The family crisis is still ongoing.
Some of you wondered why I didn’t just say, “I will finish; it will get done.” A former version of myself would gladly, through gritted teeth, have said that. However, all I could commit to was “I will try. I will make an attempt to finish." And I did. Maybe those words feel a bit wishy-washy to you but, in my mind’s eye, I was thinking of last January when I wrote to you from St. Pete’s Beach, Florida. I was taking a class with bestselling author and poet, Ross Gay (he is also an English professor at Indiana University). With his tall, willowy stature and often-grinning countenance, he once said to us (when pressed for an answer on writing poetry or an essay), “just make an attempt and see what happens. Essay means 'to try.'"And try we did, with some interesting and beautiful results. Some of our class members were perplexed or frustrated by his lack of guidance or parameters. For me, it was glorious freedom. Looking back, I see how he was helping us to find our own voices and not make our writing about what he wanted or expected.
Ashes
by Joanne Spence
From dust we come, from dust we return –
Humble and small beginnings
Humble and small endings
How far we often stray in between –
These two bookends of life and death.
God lets us cocreate
The in between –
The space is wide open for our own interpretation of
who we are
who we will be
My heart is open
Right now
To my smallness
And all my finitude
The smudge is a reminder
That I am not alone.
The experience of trying was truly liberating. It stuck with me as I continued to write. And then, when I couldn’t write for a good few months, the trying was more about getting up and out of bed in the morning to face the day even when it felt like a “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.” (Footnote: Ross was big on footnotes, even in poetry - I am quoting here from a famed children’s book of which I'm particularly fond - now a movie - "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" by Judith Viorst. Spoiler alert: perhaps my fondness is from my own affinity with Australia and having been raised there. The book ends with “even in Australia.” This always made me laugh. If you are an Aussie (as I am), of course we have bad days - just like everyone else. But if you have never been to Australia and have only an idealized version of what it is like, then it may be hard to believe that anything ever goes wrong there. But of course, Aussies have lives and emotions just like any humans on the planet - albeit the sun shines more and there are more venomous snakes than in the Amazon - THE Amazon in South America, not the online shopping company…).
Trying matters. Even during crisis. Even in Australia (or especially). When getting up and out every day - unless your leg is broken (or something similar) - the movement or forward motion is critical.
I don’t know what the future holds, because so many of my plans are on hold. But I will do rewrites of my project next month. Today, I will attend to copy edits of my book that comes out June 21. I will treat myself to a sauna and cold plunge at lunch time. I will celebrate by toasting and sharing with my friends and family that another hard thing has been accomplished. For today, that feels like more than enough.
And none of this (finishing hard things) happened in a vacuum. You’ve heard “it takes a village…”, but I say “it takes a small city…” or more depending on the task. Thank you if you are one of the many people who have done large and small things to help me cross the finish line!
Do let me know what you are “trying ” to do this month. It’s OK to not know whether the trying will “produce” anything. But the trying itself was medicine for me and bolstered my well-being. May it be so for you also.
More Writing
Launch date is approaching - June 21, 2024!
Here’s what folks are saying about this book:
In this meticulously crafted and insightful volume, the authors provide a comprehensive guide to effectively addressing the nuanced complexities of trauma that can manifest during the practice of yoga. Drawing upon a wealth of research, literature, and practical applications, this book seamlessly integrates the essential knowledge and practices required by yoga instructors and healthcare providers. With its attention to detail and lucid prose, this work is destined to become a seminal guide for generations of trauma-responsive care providers, offering invaluable wisdom for years to come.
Amy Wheeler, PhD Founder, Optimal State, Past President of the Board of the International Association of Yoga Therapists
For advance orders, click here.
and
A rare offering of scholarship, wisdom, and practicality that moves us a giant step toward the full healing potential of yoga for our modern world. Every yoga teacher interested in personal and collective wellbeing should read it.
Edi PasalisMBA, MTSLead Faculty Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health, former Director of the Kripalu Institute for Extraordinary Living
Save the date
Catherine and I will be teaching a course at Kripalu, August 11-14, 2024.
TRAUMA-INFORMED AND RESPONSIVE YOGA TEACHING
Understanding The Science And Practice
Being trauma-informed and responsive is about being able to negotiate two truths: yoga can be both a trigger for those who have been traumatized and it can be an effective tool for working with trauma.
“This is a training that addresses the rapid shifts in research and guidance in the field of trauma-informed and responsive yoga. In detailing all aspects of trauma as it relates to yoga teaching, Catherine and Joanne lay a strong foundation in fostering trust and building authentic connections with students safely and confidently. This training will cover:
Yoga, trauma, and PTSD
The polyvagal theory and stress response systems
Trauma-informed and responsive cueing and assisting
Working with interoceptive and emotion-based sensations
Building an attuned and responsive class
Mindful self-care and your mission and purpose as a yoga teacher”
As always, thank you for reading this far.
I will keep getting up and putting one foot in front of the other. I will keep trying. That is my current best attempt at being well.
Keep going - sending you a big hug and love,
Joanne
So glad you were able to keep going and even reach one of your goals!